Ask A QuestionDo you have a question you would like answered--a question about assaultive behaviors, domestic violence, or sex offenses? Are you looking for some private counseling or do you just have a question? Or maybe you are wondering about going to court, or being on probation or parole. Do you need answers for yourself, someone in your family, or for a friend? Then, this portion of the website is just for you.
To ask your question, just send an email to Dr. Wilde. He will email you back with his response, and if your question might be of interest to others, he will post your question and his answer here. If he posts your question and his answer here, no personal, identifiable information will be included in either his version of your question or in his answer. So, ask away!
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Questions and Answers
Q: From DCC: I get confused about registering as a sex offender. When am I supposed to do that?
A: There are two issues here--registering and verifying. You must register a new address and other information within 10 days of a move. If you are on probation or parole, you need to get permission from your agent before moving. After you are already properly registered, you must verify the accuracy of your SOR record four times each year. You must do that during the first 15 days of January, April, July, and October each year. (A few District Court offenders only have to verify once a year, in January. Check with your probation agent or the State Police if you are unsure how many times a year you must verify. It is your obligation to be sure about this matter.)
Q: From MSC: My boyfriend has to attend 42 weeks in your domestic violence course. Why do some men only have to do 26 weeks but he has to do 42?
A: 26 weeks is the minimum number of men's domestic violence groups according to the State Standards adopted back in 1998. Most of the better programs in Michigan are longer than 26 weeks. The 42-lesson option at GWC is short enough that a man can get enrolled, attend 42 times, complete the final exam, and get discharged all within 52 weeks of probation. The longer option is my first choice for everybody, but especially in these instances--especially violent offenses, multiple offenses, and recurring or ongoing abuse or violence while the man is already enrolled in GWC. The choice of 26- or 42-sessions is set by the judge and probation officer with input from me when appropriate.
Q: From SD: What can I do about a boss, or at least a superior, at work who really makes my life miserable? He acts like he's God's gift to humankind and I'm just a tool in his toolbox.
A: Sometimes we can't directly solve these sorts of problems. We cannot change the other person. I've often quipped "The only adult you can control is yourself; the good news is that you CAN control yourself." If this is true, then what can you change about yourself to make the situation more tolerable? Well, other than always be polite and hard-working, maybe you could relieve the stress by being funny. Try this: give the problem boss a personal nickname. Boss Bozo, or Big Chief Full of Himself, or Supervisor Sunshine. Do I have to remind you of this? Keep your stress reliever to yourself. Using names like this in public or at work could get you fired.